


To The World Beyond

by WolfieV



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Klance if you squint, M/M, Original Character Death(s), POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-01-06 22:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12219900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfieV/pseuds/WolfieV
Summary: Amir is your average guy who enrolled into the Galaxy Garrison to go to space. After an incident at home, he is left empty and heartbroken. Shiro saw this and couldn't keep quiet. So, he, Matt and Keith starts talking to him at the canteen. From then, they became friends.The Kerberos Incident broke both Keith and Amir down to their mental state. After a year of snooping around the Garrison, He came back. It's safe to say going on a space adventure with an old missing friend and three children they barely knew is going to be a hell of a ride.





	1. ENTRY #1 : Garrison Academy

** Chapter 1  **

As a kid, I've always been intrigued by the stars in the night sky. Living with my family wasn't the safest or best options. With my mother's habits to go out and return at night, my father's drinking problems and my brother's game of Hit and Run; throwing me to the ground before proceeding to run away before getting caught. I really wished I would be able to run or get taken away from this household. To forget the mess of this family, I would lock my door and open my window. Leaning on the windowsill, looking up at the stars while the wind gently blow. It was cold, surely, but I didn't care. Living in a hot tropical country makes the night feel like treasure.

Of course, now that I'm 16, I have to find a school that fits me. I wouldn't call myself a genius, but I'm sure I spent 90% of the time in front of a book than most people in my school. Finding the perfect school was only by pure coincidence, surfing around the internet and then, _BAM_ , an ad for a school registration called Galaxy Garrison Academy. I knew I just HAD to enter that school. I told my parents about it but they thought I wouldn't even have a chance. 

_Heh, watch me._

I fill up the registration page and send it. I had been very anxious to hear about the outcome. What would I do if I couldn't get in? Even if I would manage to get in, who would take care of my sweet baby brother at home? As far as I know, my family isn't very responsible per say. In the end, if I do get in, I would be the happiest man alive. I wouldn't because nobody's really the happiest man alive but still, it's a figure of speech. I _needed_ to be in that school. I don't want to be anywhere near this household.

After a few days, the dreaded email popped up in my laptop. This is it. This email could change my life. Slowly but surely, I clicked on the email. My eyes skimmed over it. Letter by letter, I could feel happiness coursing through me. I got in. Holy mother of God, I got in. I jumped up from the chair I was sitting on and fist my hands onto the air.

"YES!!" I jump onto my bed and felt myself act like a kid. It was all I could do at this moment. I need to celebrate it. Oh, but I couldn't. I ran out of my room and into my little brother's room. He was playing with his toy in the crib against the wall. A soon as he saw me, he squealed. I did too. I picked him up then spin him all around the room.

"Guess what? I got in my dream school!" I yip out to him. His vocabulary isn't that advance so all he could do was gurgle happily. I stopped and prop him up against my waist. He nuzzled me. I have mixed feeling about this. I'm happy and ecstatic but at the same time, I'm worried and sad that i'd be leaving my little brother. I wished I could bring him along but that would bring a lot of trouble to both me and others. I just have to deal with this on my own. 

Now I've never been outside the country. Either because we're not that rich and my family are one lazy bunch. But there's always a first to anything. Packing all my clothes neatly into two large bags with the additional hygiene and personal stuff. I took a photo of me and my little brother with me -I also kept one framed to put beside my brother's crib so he could remember me even when i'm gone.-  and my laptop as well as my phone. 

I waited in the living room with my little brother until the cab arrives. My mother was on the couch talking in her phone. She was bragging that I was the perfect son she could ever have while few days ago she didn't put a single faith in me. I rolled my eyes whenever she praised me. My little brother was blabbering gibberish and playing with my hands. I had everything packed so now all I have to do is say goodbye. To my baby brother that is. I couldn't careless about the rest. 

I gently kissed his nose and he did the same to me. I hugged him, he was the world to me. I wouldn't be here if he hadn't existed. This child is the one who kept me sane and alive. I love him and he showed that as well. I sigh in sorrow when I heard beeping from outside. I wasn't ready yet. I need to give all my love to him so he wouldn't forget me and stay as innocent and sane as he is now. I don't want him to grow up in an abusive environment. I kissed his nose one last time before standing up. Grabbing my bags and turning around to him. 

He made grabby hands, reaching out to me with a pout. I waved him bye. He immediately starts to cry and tried to crawl to me. Before I could feel myself comply to his needs, I rushed out the door and began stuffing my bags into the boot. I calm my breathing as I enter the car, leaning against the seat. The driver turn to me with a smile,

"Are you ready, sir?" He said. I didn't want to speak at the moment so I merely nodded. He already knew where I needed to go anyways.

I jolted as the car started to move rapidly. He needed to. I tell myself. After all, I live in a country where the traffic jams are a nightmare. We got to the airport in time, thankfully. I paid and thanked the driver and rushed to the counter to check in while they also check my bags. I've already booked my ticket and is ready to go. The lady at the counter demand my passport and the booking paper. I comply and hand it over. She gave me the a-okay and all I need to do is wait and get my bags to the plane. 

I decided to walk around since I have an hour before my flight. This'll be a last look-over before I leave the country. Sure, I told my family and friends about it.

Not that I have that many friends anyways.

But it was still heartwarming to know at least some people who'd be sad about my leave. I want to do this. This is my chance to go to space. I'll be fine. Definitely.

The announcement about my flight was what made me rush towards the airport shuttle. The machine scanned my body after I had to put metal accessories on the conveyor in a box which was only my phone and my watch. I sat for another half an hour until the departure gate opens. I smiled at the nice lady when I handed them my ticket before letting me go in. I walked down the aisle to get to my seat. When I finally got to seat, a person sitting next to me smiled and greeted me. It was only polite to do the same.

And since it's going to take 17 hours or so to get there, I want to keep myself busy by reading a book. Only the most interesting novels can get me intrigued. None of that romantic love bullshit. Getting comfortable as soon as the plane took off, I had already started reading the book. It was only when a flight attendant ask me if I was comfortable and if I needed anything brought me back to reality. I replied as any normal person would,

"Oh..uhh..I'm good.." I nodded. I stuttered not because I was THAT shy or anything but because this person caught me off-guard when I was in my imagination world. He smiled and went on to other people. I sighed before slumping down in my seat, embarrassed of my own reply. I yawned, deciding it was time to take a nap, I leaned against the seat and slowly found myself loosing conscious.

  


I yawned before I stretched. It was about 7 in the morning and I only just got out of the airport with my bags with me. I pulled a cab and told him my location, the Galaxy Garrison. Luckily, before getting out of the airport, I had already exchange my money to dollars so I needn't worry too much. It took another hour to get there simply because it was slightly deserted. I paid the man when I got out. The car drove off after I got my bags out. This is it. This is Galaxy Garrison.

In front of me was a massive building. It was so big I started to think the car made a wrong turn. But alas, I was proven wrong when a sign in front of the building wrote, 'Galaxy Garrison'. I took a deep breath before entering the building. I was surely going to get lost aren't I? Before anything childish can come to mind (Like exploring or checking out the interior designs), I will try to find the main office.

I got lost, twice. Luckily, an early bird was passing by and helped me. I got the registration paper done and now all I need to do is get to my dorm room. If I could find it at least. But this time I didn't get lost. I entered my room to see another teenage boy, my new roommate. He lights up as soon as he saw me and rushed over.

"Wow! you must be my new roommate! you're here so early, you must be very tired. I'm Jonathan! what's your name?" He shook my hand quite energetically despite being only eight in the morning.

"uhh..bw-- i'm Amir..." I mumbled out. He smiles at me. He let go of my hand before motioning for me towards an empty bed. "This is your bed! your corner of the room. We have the toilet there in that door-" He pointed to a door,"And Professor said you don't have to start class until tomorrow. I was just about to take a shower so I can go to class. Why don't you go ahead and take a nap? You have mad eye bags there!" He laughed. I could tell he was the over-energetic loud person who never seems to lose their breath. He went into the bathroom with a towel. 

I put my bags down and plopped right onto my bed. I couldn't careless to be under the covers before allowing myself to take a nap from a horrible jet lag. Before I lost conscious, I could hear Jonathan chuckled upon seeing me after he got out of the bathroom. I didn't dream that day. All I could think of was that I was finally pursuing my dreams to go to space.

  


	2. ENTRY #2 : Adaption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amir's adapting nicely to the life in Garrison and so far, he hasn't had a regret. Yet. He's getting used to his roommate's antics a well as the school's system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I will be on Hiatus for Two weeks.(Maybe three Idk) Think of this as a token of apology. lol
> 
> Also, Them Voltron boys will be coming, I promise. Just be patient.

** Chapter 2 **

When I woke up, it didn’t look like Jon—or whatever his name was– came back yet. So I took my time to unpack. I put my bag on the bed and started working. It’s been half an hour and I have just finished unloading my clothes into a wardrobe. I haven’t even started on personal belongings yet! I also made sure to leave a few pair of clothes in my bag. Just in case. You never know when you need them. It would probably be useful someday.

When I finished, I looked around the room. It was sure livelier and much more livable. The two beds are beside each other against the wall, two desks beside them and the wardrobe beside the door to the corridor. My laptop was placed on my desk and my books in the cupboards underneath them. It was mostly fantasy novels that I find interesting. I took my hygiene products and towel with me to the bathroom.

Inside was spacious and neatly designed with a shower at the end and the toilet to the left upon entering. The sink was on the right with a big mirror on the wall. It was clean, at least. I could see my roommate’s hygiene products on a rack beside the shower. I put mine on the sink before I began undressing. Putting my clothes in an empty laundry basket, I got under the shower. I took a warm shower to let my tense muscles relax and keep my mind clear.

While I was in the shower, I could hear the opening and closing of a door accompanied by heavy footsteps before a soft thump. It seems like he’s back. I quickly finish my shower and dry off. Oh, I’ve forgotten my clothes on my bed again. Ah, but he’s back in the room.

Usually, I’d have no problem with people seeing my body but this is a person I just met. Then again, we would be living in the same room so it wouldn’t really matter either way. I silently groaned and covered my waist with the towel.  I opened the door and peeked out. My roommate was laying on his belly with his face squished on a pillow. His entire body posture indicates that he’s tired and stiff. It’s weird. Just this morning, he was practically bouncing off the walls.

I rushed over to my bed and quickly put on my clothes all the while eyeing at his unmoving figure. I dried my hair with the towel before I hang them on the small clothing rack by the wardrobe. I wonder whether he’s eaten yet. I made my way over to my passed-out roommate whom still yet to make a movement. I stood by the edge of the bed, where his feet lay dangling. He must’ve been exhausted for him to not feel me watching him.

“Hey, hey, have you eaten yet?” I asked but it was thought to be fruitless as he lay motionless.

I nudged his foot, he only moved a little. I did it again and this time, he responded with a groan. Turning around, he groggily muttered,

“What…?” He looked over to me. His eyes were dropping but he kept his gaze on me.

“Have you eaten?” I asked again. This time, I got my answers. His eyes slowly widen as he seemed to remember something. He sat up,

“Oh, I haven’t. But that’s because I wanted to show you ‘round on the way to the canteen! You know, as a bonding activity!” He chirped.

“I’m gonna go change first. Wait here!” Before he could even finish his sentence, he was already in the bathroom with a new pair of clothes in his hands. But I could still hear his muffled voice. Funny, I wouldn’t go anywhere while he’s in the bathroom. I let out an amused snort. I sat down on the bed, playing a game in my phone while I waited for him.

He came out few minutes later in different clothes and looking much more refreshed. He smiled as soon as he saw me. I smiled back. He nodded to the door,

“Well, let’s go! The canteen’s really full during evening.” He walked out with me in tow.

He stays true to his words as he told me of all the functions of the rooms or labs we passed by and who worked there. The corridor was crowded yet they all stay clear from the path. Some of the students even nodded to my roommate in acknowledgement and he would nod back. He told me about him –but non about his name– and what he wanted to do.

He was to be a cargo pilot and only three years older than me. He lived with a mum and two sisters and he also liked stars. At this point, we had already reached the canteen. He opened the doors and held it out for me. We walked in and sure enough, it was very crowded.

My roommate brought me over to a slightly empty seat. The people that sat there didn’t seem to mind. Only turning to us when my roommate greeted and they all shook hands. Ah, friends of his. He then started introducing me to them and vice versa.

“Hey guys, this is Amir. Amir, these are my buds!” He gestured over to them. He pointed to a guy with black hair and hazel eyes, “This is Mason. He’s friendly.” Mason looked friendly, sure but also fierce. He went on to a blonde guy with an undercut and brown eyes, “Ethan-“ Ethan seems calm but also intimidating. “-And Alexander. But don’t mind him, he’s a grumpy-pants.” Alexander rolled his eyes as my roommate laughed. As he said, Alexander looks grumpy and broody. He has dark brown hair and blue eyes.

My roommate told them we were going to get food and pulled me along to a queue. It was long but we didn’t have to wait long because soon enough we got our trays and sat back at our table. They were chatting amongst themselves. I ate a few bites but it wasn’t really satisfying. Really, how would anyone eat this? It’s bland and sad. I kept chewing nonetheless.

I was lost in thought until I heard a snap in front of me. I looked towards the source; my roommate. He looked rather worried.

“Are you ok? You’ve been staring at your food, man.” His eyebrow was arched upwards. Everyone was watching me.

Only then that I start to feel a deep feeling in my stomach. It’s uncomfortable. I cleared my throat and avoided eye contact with anyone.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. I’m not really hungry. I’ll just go back to our room.” I pushed my tray towards Mason, who’s been eyeing my food like a predator. He immediately starts to scarf it down. I stood up then give all of them an awkward wave before rushing out of the canteen.

I passed through the corridors I recognized until I got to my room. I took a deep breath and start wondering what was wrong with me. Surely I was healthy, right? I shook my head. The deep curling feeling in my stomach worsened. I took my shirt off and put it on my bag. I paced around a little, trying to calm myself. While I was doing that, I noticed a name written on a book, Jonathan.

Oh, that’s right. My roommate’s name was Jonathan. I sat down on my bed with a huff. I still didn’t know what was wrong with me. I felt weird. I shook my head again. I got under the covers and decided to take a nap. I’ll find out soon.

 

 

It’s been a year since I got here now. I knew the corridors like the back of my mind and I also knew Jon as well as he knew me. He’s an interesting lad, I’d say. Currently, I was studying for a test that was coming up. It’s past midnight and Jon was fast asleep on his bed with a book on his face. I cracked my neck and sighed. Recently, I’ve been feeling a little on edge. Like something was wrong but I couldn’t tell what.

Jon said it might nervousness for the upcoming tests but I had a feeling it wasn’t that. My chair creaked as I leaned back. No matter how hard I try, I couldn’t focus. All I could think of was my brother. My sweet little brother. I wondered if he’s changed. How is he now? I wanted to talk to him. To see him.

I look up on the ceiling. It was filled with glow-in-the-dark stars in all shapes and sizes. Jon wanted them so, we both bought them and put them up. Now, whenever one of us feels troubled, we’d look up and just imagined the real stars outside the Garrison. We weren’t allowed to go out of the Garrison at night.  

I felt terribly sadden. I don’t know why. It must’ve been from thinking about my brother at home. I looked over at the clock, 3:47 a.m. It read. I rub my face before I clean my table. I stood up and stretched my arms up, satisfied when I hear a crack.

I took the book off of Jon’s face and put it on his table. He’ll need them later. I adjust our alarms again. Just in case I didn’t the first time. I took off my clothes, leaving only my boxers on before I went under the covers. I twist around until I found a comfortable spot. I dreamt that night.

I dreamt about my little brother. But something was wrong because he was crying, like he was in pain. I tried to reach for him. No matter how much I run after him, I couldn’t seem to get to him. I didn’t sleep peacefully that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Funny story! I already wrote this yesterday(1/10/17) but for some reason, My stupid fat hands clicked on 'x' without saving any progress. I am so mad at myself. (I finished it about 1 am or something idk XD) So I lost everything I did and had to rewrite them all over again. ':( 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	3. ENTRY #3 : News Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyyyy, I forgot all about this story. Only when I got back into Ao3 did I remember..
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

Despite having been a year here in the Garrison, I still haven't made a real friend -Jon doesn't count. He's my roommate- but I made it to the top 20 in my class with the help of Jon and his friends. I don't exactly call them my friends either because I barely talk to them. They'd go out to the canteen with Jon just to chat. I don't understand them.

I mean, what's the difference between conversing in dorm rooms and the canteen? It's noisier at the canteen, and you'd barely hear your friends. I really don't understand them.

I sighed and rolled my shoulders, satisfied when I hear them crack. I've been sitting at my table for the past couple of hours, studying. Sitting for so long makes my back sore, it makes me question why I even do this to myself.

But just because tests have finished doesn't mean I would stop studying,i told myself. I stood up and stretched, yawning all the way to the bathroom with my towel. I took a quick, relaxing shower. Spending more time on applying shampoo in my hair, then rinsing it. Drying myself off, I found myself staring in the mirror. I frowned. I look terrible, exhausted and lonely. Sighing, I cover my head with the towel, not wanting to look at myself again. I wore a boxer before going outside the bathroom. I couldn't care less if Jon saw me now, I've been seeing his naked body enough times that it was considered normal now.

Now that I think about it, I think he liked being naked. Really, he'd always go nude whenever it got too 'hot' and laugh whenever he saw my horrid face. At least I have the decency to cover my crotch. Thinking back about it made me shiver in mock disgust.

I scoffed when I heard him whistle from his bed, looking at me over his book. He gave me a toothy smile before continuing reading. I put my clothes on and sat on my bed. Taking out my phone from under the pillow, I turned it on and began playing a game. Not even bothering to discard the towel from my head, I laid down. It became our routine now, whenever we didn't have a class or rather not mingle with people from Jon's standpoint, we'd chill in bed and just enjoy the peaceful silence in each other's presence.

After a while, we both started to get hungry and decided it was time to head to canteen to eat. We both wore our jackets and went out to the hallway. Once we arrived to the canteen, we got our tray of food and sat down on an empty table. We both started eating our food before conversing.

"How was your tests by the way? Haven't asked you that yet." He wiped his face as he ate.

I grunted and gulp down my food before replying, "It's good, thanks to you." I looked up at him to see him giving me the proudest smile he could muster. We went back to eating in silence. As I was about to put food in my mouth, my phone rang. Pulling it out from my back pocket, I frowned when I recognized the number. Reluctantly, I answered the call,

"Hello?"

_"Amir? It's your aunt. I have something to tell you. Is now a good time?"_

"Right. Hold on a second." I covered my phone so she couldn't hear me before turning my attention to Jon, who was eyeing at me in confusion, before standing, "Sorry, I have to take this. Can you throw my thrash away?" I whispered to him and left the canteen as soon as he nodded. Leaving a confused and worried roommate.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, walking through the corridors to our room.

_"Your family was in an accident...."_

I stopped dead in my tracks, my eyebrows burrowed. People around me eyed me and dodged away to avoid bumping me. I gave a shaky laugh, as if she had made a joke. The line went silent but I knew she was still there, waiting for my reactions. I got to my room and made sure to lock the door.

"You're kidding, right? Tell me you're joking." I pressed on, leaning on the door for support. I heard a shaky muffle from the other line, as though she was holding back tears.

_"No.....I'm not...Your family is.... dead. I am so sorry."_

At that point, I didn't know what to feel anymore. Shouldn't I be glad? I never really liked them. But....Oh god, my sweet little brother.

Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. My vision blurred as it glossed over my eyes.

"And my baby brother??! Wha—when did this happen?!" I heard her let out a cry.

_"Last month.. I'm so sorry! The whole family was going out for a dinner but—but a drunk driver was swerving uncontrollably in their lane... And the car blew up before anyone got a—a chance to get out...."_  She hiccuped between her words, sobbing all the while.

I felt anger wave through me, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?!!! I would've been there for the funeral. What the hell??!!" I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, my hand wiped them aggressively. But it kept flowing down my cheeks.

_"We—we didn't want to bother you so close to the exam! We didn't want you to panic! We're sorry.."_  She cried out. I didn't even bother to wipe my tears anymore as it continue to trail down my chin. I slid down to the ground, taking deep shaky breaths.

My stomach churn tightly, the same feeling that I had before the tests. Now I knew why. "So, what am I supposed to do now?.." I breathed under my breath, my voice cracking. I heard her sniffling before she replied,  _"I took ov—over your custody so you could continue your studies..I know how mu—much this school means to you..."_

 

**...**

 

After the uneventful call, I laid on my bed and curled around tightly. I hugged my knees, clawing through my pants as I tried to calm down. I should've known something was wrong. I should've believed my gut-wrenching feeling. My little brother is dead and I haven't had a chance to see him. My sweet baby brother is gone. He's gone. I tensed as the door  suddenly opened, Jon poked his head in.

"'Mir? You doing ok?" I heard him shuffling over to me as I curled in the covers tightly. I howled in distress as a reply. I heard him scratch his head before I felt the bed dip as he sat near my foot. He was concerned of my sudden change of mood.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he put his hand on my side, rubbing circles when he found my back. I let my shoulder loose a little, feeling slight comfort in the platonic gesture.

"My brother's dead......" I moaned in sorrow. He knew who I was talking about. I'd told him everything three months prior to living with him. I heard his breath hitched and he stopped rubbing circles on my back. It made me ached for more as I kept whining for my brother.

"....Oh...Do—do you wanna talk about it...?" He gently offered. And I took it. I told him everything my aunt told me. He waited patiently and hummed as I rambled non-stop. He laid down next to me and hugged me from behind for comfort. I leaned against him as I continue to mourn over the death of my precious baby brother.

I didn't remember falling asleep but when I woke up, I felt a huge wave of agony come crushing down on my body. It made me feel nauseously cold despite Jon's arms protectively around me. He was still asleep due to his calming breath. I went limp when   I felt his chest rising and subside against my back. I felt like crying again as I remembered what had happened a few hours ago. I clutched my shirt, I whined under my breath when I felt a throb in my head. It hurt.

Letting out a tired breath, I wriggle out from Jon's clutch. Struggling as he held me tighter. I managed to get out his embrace without waking him up. I looked over to the alarm clock on my table, '9:32 p.m.' It said. I sighed,  closing my tired eyes to try and go back to sleep. But whenever I closed my eyes, I kept hearing the cries of my little brother, his hand reaching out to me. I softly whimpered, not sure whether my mind was playing with me or that really is my little brother crying for me.

"Amir...? Are you awake?" I stifled as he suddenly mumble from behind me. Yawning, He then sat up after a few seconds of muffled silence. I sniffed, feeling unnaturally sick. I looked at him for the first time in a few hours. His eyes seem to soften when we made eye contact.

"Hey, you feeling a little better..?" He asked, but seems to be unsure what to say. Honestly, I couldn't blame him. I would be the same if I was in his shoes. Not trusting my voice at the moment, I nodded. I heard him sigh dejectedly, whether at me or for me, I wouldn't know. I cut off our eye contact to gaze at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the wall. In my periphery vision, I saw him leaned against the headboard and tiredly rubbed his hands over his face. We stayed like that for a while, only breaking the silence as Jon began to softly spoke, 

"I lost my mom when I was young." He mused suddenly, glancing at him to see him smiling, though it didn't reach his eyes. It bore sadness. I let out a low confused hum.

"Sorry, just thought to let you know that I know how you feel too. I was just a kid when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She always had a habit to smoke whenever she was stressed." His chest rumbled as he chuckled painfully. It was obvious he was reliving the memories judging from his clouded eyes.

"Oh..I'm, sorry for your loss.." I mumbled, he looked at me and smiled in response.

"It's fine, it was a long time ago. Wasn't your fault anyways." And that was how the night goes by; Jon telling me his childhood memories while I stayed  in silence and listened. Granted, it didn't made me feel any better, but just knowing I had someone to relate to was enough to calm my stiff posture.

After a little over midnight, we both fell asleep in our respective beds. I couldn't remember what I had dreamed about after I'd woken up the next morning. Even if I did, it wouldn't change the inner turmoil that was lingering in the pits of my mind. It kept me from focusing on the lessons in classes and simulators. 

I hadn't remember what had triggered it, but as I entered the training simulator with two other cadets, I'd crashed the ship in less than five minutes and continued to stare as if I was in a daze. The two cadets, whom I'd forgotten the names of, had to shake me from my trance with confused gazes. It'd shocked everyone including the professor to learn that I had just crashed the simulator for the first time since I've been here. Eventually, the professor had to dismissed me for the rest of the training as I wobbled out of the simulator. I said no word other than to thanked her softly when she went over to put her hand on me and asked for my health. I assured her I would be fine and headed over to my dorm room.

Sighing as I arrived in my room, noting the empty room. I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. Surely, the teachers had been informed by my aunt of the recent incident. So, they were aware and be understanding if I continue to drop my grades and behavior in the worst way; as according to my aunt. 

I scratched my head, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. Sighing through my nose, I recalled the time I had successfully finished a simulator. The same two cadets cheered with me in excitement as we stood in front of the professor. We managed to get into the fighter class as a result, as the simulator was a test to prove our ability. 

I looked around the room, it was dull and cold. Jon still have classes and won't be back in three hours. It took a lot of self-pity for me to finally stood up and sat on my chair. Rubbing my hands together, I switched my laptop on and immediately started on an essay assignment. If I can't train and focus on the flight simulators, I'd at least do something productive; the assignment that I purposely avoided in the name of procrastination.

It took a lot of will power and brain-storming to actually finished it. And by the time I'd send it to the professor through email, Jon finally came back from his class. I swirled around to greet him. He let out a small smile as acknowledgement before plopping on his bed. And we allowed the silence to carry in our room.

It was times like this made me wish that I'd know how to communicate with people better. It must be comfortable for Jon, but for me, it was agonizing and awkward. Especially after what had happened the night before.

I twirled around my chair, head leaning up to look at the ceiling. I let myself feel dizzy before I allowed the chair to slow down to a stop. I faced Jon again, this time wanting to break the silence. Only to gulp the air like a fish as I opened and closed my mouth. Unable to form any words.

I didn't have to say anything after all. Because Jon had already fallen asleep just like that. According to his soft snore.

 

**...**

 

It's been a month now. My grades and attitude dropped like a missile.Though, I've been attending the counseling by the adults' request. It was sort of like a therapy. Sort of. They just let me mourn in peace most of the time. I sat at an empty table in an slightly empty canteen, Letting my mind wander. Most people had gone home for a break. That includes Jon as well. He went home to visit his father and siblings. I could've. But I didn't want to, and my aunt accepted it as if she understood.

Only few remained, all with different reasons. Though, I knew some of them had a situation similar to mine. Just longer than I had.

Now, I was holding a cup of coffee in my hands. Gazing out of the window, nothing to see other than the desert land. I sighed for the umpteenth time, pressing my lips at the ring of my cup. Breathing in the scent of coffee.

Taking a sip, oblivious to two strangers making their way over to me. Only noticing them as they were right in front of me, one of them smiling like a champ. My heart skipped a beat once who these two people were.

"Hello. You must be Amir."

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfiction of Vld what-so-ever so don't judge too much. I always wanted to do this and now, I finally have some courage.


End file.
